I like podiums

Li Ning

Anxietea Sorry I'll get my coat...

An American tourist in London decided to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wandered around seeing the sights and occasionally stopped at quaint pubs to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads and have a pint of beer. After awhile he found himself in a very upper-set neighborhood with big, stately residences—no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all, no public restrooms and he really, really had to go, especially after all those beers. He found a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decided to use the wall to solve his problem. As he was unzipping he was tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby, who said, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here." "I'm very sorry, officer," replied the American, "but I really, really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom." "Ah, yes," said the bobby, "just follow me." He led the American to a back delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opened, saying. "In there. Whiz away, anywhere you want." The man entered & found himself in the most beautiful garden he’d ever seen. Manicured lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges & huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in bloom. Since he had the cop's blessing, he relieved himself and felt fine again. As he went back through the gate he said to the bobby, "That was really decent of you. Is that British hospitality?" “No," replied the Bobbie with a grin. “That’s the French Embassy."

Because her lips kept sticking together.

So he gives it to her

One robber turns to the other, holds up a bottle and says “is whiskey?” The other says “yeah but not a wisky as wobbing a bank!”

An insta-toot.

Because he has Steve’s job.

Because he has Steve’s job.

Poetry